The Soapbox

I'm in the middle of two blissful uninterrupted hours at home. By myself. With nothing that I have to do. Well, that's not exactly true, but I decided that I would take these two hours and claim them as my own. No laundry, no cleaning, no doing for others. These are mine. They are delicious and I don't have to share with anyone. So there....nyah.

Pickle has an after-school playdate with one of her classmates so I don't have to be at school to pick her up. Since I'm already paying for full-time day care for the Pepper, I decided to leave her there late. I feel as if I am playing hooky.

By far, the hardest thing about these hours for me is to resist the urge to "do something." My mind keeps wandering back to what errands I could run, what I could clean or organize, what bills I could pay, etc. The little chattering monkeys in my head won't stop their assault - 'What if you just vacuum for ten minutes? Then we could let it go." But they couldn't, not really. After vacuuming would be laundry and filing and cleaning floors or changing sheets - you get the idea. They're little drug dealers offering little hits of self-satisfaction for completing some task that will edge me into the next hit and the next and the next until I'm rushing to get to Pepper before daycare closes and chiding myself for not actually taking time for myself.

Last night there was a presentation at Pickle's school about stress and preschoolers. They brought in a panel of LCSW's to talk about how stress affects kids today and what we can do about it. Three of the biggest offenders of stress in preschoolers are expectations, over-scheduling and absorption.

In general, we expect too much from our kids. Especially smart kids, good kids and kids who seem to excel in some area or another. We expect them to be perfect; we expect them to not melt down when they are tired, hot or hungry. We expect them to remember things because it's easy for us to remember them. I remember being ten and worrying because I hadn't figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up. If I knew then that I'd be 36 and asking the same question, I would have been apoplectic. Even knowing this, this is one of those things I am most guilty of especially with the Pickle. She seems so wise and old and together sometimes that it's hard for me to remember she is five years old. And that is very little.

It's no surprise that kids today are overscheduled. I have to say that is one thing that I am really conscious of. Pickle takes dance. That's it. That's plenty. Pepper is not in a tumbling class or a music class - she has daycare. A daycare that I chose carefully where she gets little to no time in front of a TV and a wonderful daycare provider who is engaged and makes sure the kids socialize and have lots of fun. Lots of Pickles friends take dance and gymnastics or soccer and music and...well, who knows what. They're always running off somewhere. And while sometimes I worry that she might enjoy other activities as well, I try to remember that extracurricular activities never take the place of free time in the space of a child.

What was surprising to me, although I'm not sure why now that I have heard it, is how much over-scheduling of the rest of the family adds stress to a child's life. Parents work many hours and then cram teacher's meetings, church, parties, errands, other sibling's activities and then suddenly, there isn't much time left over for play. And play is important, the most important thing a kid can do.

Then there is absorption- kids pick up on so much. Especially overly sensitive kids, like Pickle. Any conversation about money or disagreements with spouses or negative talk, they soak it up and worry about it over and over again. Limiting this dynamic is very important, and again, something I'm not very good at lately. But hearing it last night made me resolve to do better.

The anecdote for all of this? Play, play, play. Kids need time to play by themselves, but they really need time to play with us. When we're ok, they're ok. If we're having fun, they are too. It's time for us all to chill a little more and make sure we fit in all those things that we profess are most important to us but of which we often neglect.

Breathing and mindfulness and yoga and all those trendy things are fine but what we all need is to blow bubbles and play with playdoh and find animals in the clouds a little more.

As for me, I think there are some blocks calling my name.

10pm is too late

-for me to keep trying to post. And yet, here I am again. I've got to start working on this earlier because I am soooo not a night owl.

Goodnight. I'll check in earlier tomorrow.

Shhh.....

Finally came up with a great Christmas gift for the Pickle and the Pepper.

Princess Katie, their favorite kids Pop Princess has a new album coming out in late December and a CD release party in NYC the weekend after Pickle's 6th birthday. Can anyone say road trip!

If you have young kids, check out Princess Katie and Racer Steve at www.princessracer.com. Great folks - fun, good message, well-written music that doesn't make my ears bleed when the girls ask me to play the CD for the 6th time in a row. Lots of people make a comparison between Princess Katie and Natalie Merchant, but since I'm guessing she's probably getting tired of hearing that, I won't say that. I'll just say she sounds a lot like the front woman for 10,000 Maniacs.

I finally found one gift safer than anything on the shelves of Target.

Now if I could just find an old Bass O'Matic on ebay.

So...

Two guys walk into a bar, which is really stupid because after the first one hit it, you'd think the second one would be smart enough to move out of the way.

Sorry, my writers were all out on the picket lines in front of Universal Studios today. Hopefully the industry will come to an agreement soon so this blog can be funny again.

I hope so, for your sake.

A Day To Remember

This is my friend Colleen. We like to joke that the Land baron and I are her token liberal friends. She's an amzing woman in so many ways, but especially in all that she tries to do for our veterans. We may not see eye to eye very often in the political arena, but I have a tremendous amount of respect that she works so hard to make sure the next generation appreciates some of the sacrifIces that have been made by those who have come before us.

Take a look at this.

The New Neighbors

Pickle discovered our new neighbors last weekend sitting in one of our trees in the back yard:







Admittedly, these are not spectacular pictures, but if you never been to our house, these trees are well over 100 years old and very, very tall. This is as good as my zoom lens gets.

As near as we can figure, they are red-shouldered hawks. They are large birds. They are loud birds. They are extremely cool birds.

We've seen one hanging out in a mud puddle in the road after a big storm last week, probably looking for frogs. Today Pickle discovered one sitting on the top porch of the house across the street. I don't have any idea how long it was there but when Pickle showed me, it took off and swooped into the field behind our house. Later when we left the house, it was on a powerline in the field looking for dinner, I imagine.

I don't know if we are a stop-over to someplace warmer for the winter, or if this particular pair is from up north and we are the southern destination. Maybe they've decided to call our little corner of the world home too. Whatever the reason for their presence, I'm happy they are here.

It's impossible to bring them a plate of cookies, so I hope they feel welcome. I'd love for them to stick around for a while.

'Tis The Season

Pepper, who is two, told me today thay she didn't want to sit on Santa's lap this holiday season. Instead she wants to take him out to dinner.

I like the way this girl thinks.