They Do It Different in Maine

On Sunday night, my family ordered takeout from the new Italian joint a few miles from my folks’ house. My parents aren’t vegetarians like us, but my mother doesn’t eat any red meat and my father only eats it occasionally since it doesn’t make any sense for him to cook two separate meals. So when my brother-in-law comes to town, my father has a carnivorous cohort and they typically find some meat products to eat together. It’s a good bonding experience I would imagine.

The order from the takeout place was fairly ordinary- cheese pizza, French fries, salads, pasta and then, something new; a cheeseburger pizza for the meat-eating men.

Now, there are all sorts of things one might imagine on a cheeseburger pizza I suppose, but the conscientious around here was that a cheeseburger pizza would be hamburger and extra cheese.

Here's is the actual list of ingredients:
Hamburger
Onions (a dreaded substance to my sister’s husband)
Pickles
American Cheese food- none of that fancy mozzarella here

And the crowning glory – no pizza sauce, simply ketchup baked onto the crust.

Um...

Does this seem weird to anyone else? Maybe it's just me, but I think if you were going to create such an unusual pizza, with such, ah, creative, ingredients, don't you think that it would merit a line of explanation on the menu?

My brother-in-law likes a lot of food, but he has drawn the line at a cheeseburger pizza.

If, however, this sounds appetizing to you, let me know and I’ll give you their phone number. I’m sure they’d deliver.