Quote of the Week

It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning...


- Calvin and Hobbes

Ellen Goodman, a nationally syndicated columnist who works for the Boston Globe wrote an article entitled "A Third Gender in the Workplace.” It’s a discussion of the theoretical monetary value of moms, both stay-at-home and working. More interesting/disturbing to me about the piece, however, is the discussion of the results of a study by Shelley Correll published in the American Journal of Sociology. Correll discovered in her study that there is a “Motherhood Penalty” in the workplace. Moms were seen as less competent and committed. Moms were half as likely to be hired as childless women or men with or without kids. Moms were offered $11,000 less in starting pay than non-moms. Eleven thousand dollars!?!?!?! And, just for good measure, they were also judged more harshly for tardiness. Correll also extrapolated that women who have been out of the workforce for two years or more, have it even harder.

I’ve been in a job search for many months now: many long and fruitless months. I have had exactly one interview- for a job that turns out, pays a lot less than I can afford to work for. Now I absolutely realize that I do not have the skills or experience to become a CEO or senior-level management. What I’m aiming for is a job that will cover the daycare I’ll have to pay for to go back to work and have some money left over to make a contribution to the family finances. If I was challenged and enjoyed the job as well, that would be a bonus. I am blessed to be a well-educated woman. I’ve been successful in the workforce. And I cannot find a job. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like for mom less-educated or younger or with more children. What is left over after childcare?

I’ve been trying to wrap this blog entry up for three days now. I can’t seem to write a final paragraph wrapping it all up nice and neat. Maybe it’s because I can’t wrap this topic up nice and neat. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been writing after the girls go to bed and no one is sleeping well in the house so we’re all sleep deprived. So maybe I’ll just end like this: Cut moms a break. We could all use it.

36

I have a little site meter on my blog. Nothing fancy, although it took me a few weeks to figure out how to install it properly. For those of you unfamiliar with site meters, they keep track of how many people visit your site each week, how long they hang out for, etc. I have been stunned the last couple of weeks when I’ve opened up my report and found that fairly consistently I’ve had 33-36 visitors per week at my site. Thirty-six? Now that could be thirty-six unique visitors, or it could be one person who doesn’t really have enough going on in their day. I prefer to think that it’s closer to the former.

But over the last two weeks, it’s been sort of haunting me. I really thought that maybe one or two people were stopping by occasionally, just to see if there was anything new up, just to be polite, just checking in. But thirty-six? Now I feel responsible. If all of you are going to go to the trouble of showing up, the least I can do is post a little more than nearly never.

Thanks, by the way, for sticking around.

So I’m working on a spec script. It’s a half-hour tv spec. I think it’s pretty good. I’m amusing myself with it, which is about all you can hope for in your own writing. It has the word “boobies” in it. I think that speaks for itself. I’m entering it in a couple of upcoming competitions. Thought you’d like to know.

I just read an article about improving efficiency in your life. One of the mandates was to stop multi-tasking because that kind of distracting, split-focus doesn’t work. Of course, if you are a parent of a small child, or even a medium, large or extra-large child for that matter, you know that this is just crap. If I didn’t multi-task, the only thing I’d actually complete during my day is the sentence, “Just a second.” Children don’t live in a linear time plane. Time is irrelevant. Everything must happen instantaneous and simultaneously. The only time I get to dump multi-tasking is for the few minutes before bed when I work on a Sudoku puzzle just so my brain shuts down enough to go to sleep. I multi-task to keep my head above water. There was a time when I didn’t multi-task and I still had plenty of time to do everything that was important to me. But that was B.C. (Before Children). I am always astonished at the amount of time I wasted B.C. and for the most part, I was a pretty busy person. I think if I could get that kind of time back, I could cure cancer, bring about world peace and make a pan of vegetarian rice crispy squares to scarf down while watching Grey’s Anatomy. Speaking of- Am I the only one hoping that the spin-off will finally be the star vehicle Taye Diggs deserves?

On that note, I need to go to bed before I make said pan of treats and end up channel surfing for the rest of the night.

Thanks again thirty-six. Let’s do it again real soon.

A Couple Random Updates

Welcome to the world Calvin! I hope you like it here. We've been waiting for you and your arrival thrills so many of us. You change the world just by your presence.
____________________________________________________


I've been reading a book, written by a friend of mine, that has achieved a good deal of success. It is, quite frankly, scaring the crap out of me. I used to be able to read good horror fiction any time of the day or night. I can't pick up this book once the sun goes down. So I get through maybe three or four pages a day. It's good, in a very creepy way.

The coolest thing about this book, World War Z, by Max Brooks, pick it up literally anywhere books are sold, is that he gives me a little shout out in the book by mentioning Dax, my Dalmatian whom we had during my grad school days. I am tickled, thrilled, giggly and amused. Fantastic. Thanks man. You made my month.

Hi. Remember Me?

If any of you are out there, still checking in, I haven't disappeared completely. I actually have a couple of writing projects I'm working on and all my free time has gone there. The one I can talk about is a little bit of an article that's going to appear in Chesapeake Family Magazine in June. It's my first article so I'm a bit nervous, but excited too. Yeah me!

The other thing- well, I'm not ready to talk about it yet. It's going well though, and I'll speak more of it later this spring.

By the way, I saw Anne Lamott speak this past week. She read from her newest book and then took questions and just spoke. Teaghan's middle name is Annie- after her. She was lovely and funny and relaxed and listening to her was like sitting with an old friend. I could have sat and listened to her all night. I had never seen her live before and she was everything I could have hoped for. I was a little afraid to go see her, in case she wasn't as if I imagined her to be. But she was great.

So I'll see you all back here real soon. Hang in there with me. I'll try and poke my head in a little more often.

Blame It On The Chicks

I read this blog entry today over at Breed 'Em and Weep. It's like she crawled inside my brain and scraped out everything that's going on inside there. It's a veritable "Being Reg Malkovich." It hurt to read the rawness of the post and my visceral reaction was to cry and hyperventilate and feel outed and freed all at the same time. There is a small moment of healing when you realize that your silent pain, your moments of secret desperation are experienced down to the minute detail by others.

February was a hard month for me. I expect March will be similar.

If we talk and I'm hoarse, you can blame it on the Dixie Chicks.

Oh The Places You'll Go

"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose...

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too...

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure where you step.
Step with great care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left."


Happy Birthday Theodore!
And Erica!
And me.